Thursday, November 03, 2005

...To Me

It's a wonderful gift. Truly it is.

But I cannot accept it.

To do so would be to accept resignation, defeat. And that I cannot do.

My eyes bleed with sadness, my hands can no longer grasp at hope and I feel the corners pressing down; squeezing me.

I know I have every right and no right. And therein lies my dissatisfaction.

I choose to walk along the river's bank, to balance precariously above the torrent that would sweep me to my death; but I cannot choose my doom.

The simplest thing: to choose a shirt and wash it. Press it. Wear it. I can enjoy the gentle lulling flow of blood forced 120/80 and see with eyes that are not eyes.

And I am happy for the day to run its course, neither melancholy nor pedantic, just methodical.

So there is peace. And Satisfaction has not to move a muscle, but I cannot sit still.

I cannot share the room, nor fix its gaze with mine outstaring, else my sight is stolen, drawn from me by mournful eye.

I cannot share the shadows, mine to obscure, yours to settle and thicken like dust-filled cobwebs.

I cannot stem the light with a silent sigh.

But a duty calls and here I sit. Waiting, hoping to outlive the moment's chance and then be free: no longer frozen in opposition...

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

just plain kinda stunning, man...

Adams Avenue said...

I thought it sucked, personally.

:)

jonny said...

Cholostomy!

Buenos dias, ma chere!

I'm so glad you've got someone to write for you and took a wrong turn to get here.

(Note to self: lock the door to keep the little ... out!).

I shall, of course, keep trying to bring myself to the the depths you continually plumb.

p.s. the straitjacket is ready; would you like to try it on now?

jonny said...

...hmmm.

and whose fault is all of this?

and...more besides

*frowns*

Sealegs said...

I can't deny that I find the hostility between you and my dear friend rather interesting. I have no idea why you choose to harass her.

You entries are like puzzles. I like them.

Feel free to insult me at will, for I am a walking dental commercial.

jonny said...

" my dear friend"

(you admit to this? you, too, are barking!)

As for the answer to your question: I could tell you but then I'd have to tell her; or kill you.

When do you want your execution to take place?

Adams Avenue said...

Now! Please put us both out of our misery.

From you. . . that is.

jonny said...

But of course!

I would never deny a lad...hold on, you're no lady!!!

You can just wait your turn!!!

(and in the meantime, I'll make you suffer)